GONE RIDIN'

Since little bro got sprung from babysitting, Saturday, we three C's will be out and about lookin' for sights unseen in Tennessee. I'll take pics of Nate droppin' his bike this time.

Wide Band Response: Farmer Tom

1)I don't know about the XL125.

2) I mowed 6 days ago and will be spraying Monday.

Sorry took so long to respond.

Mainstream Fiction Authors Shouldn't Preach

I red alot. Sometimes. I go on binges of 3 to 5 novels and then won't read anything but blogs and Drudge for weeks. One of the effects of having read so much is that I am continually looking for new authors for fresh material.
There is no fresh material in my favorite genre: military fiction. I began reading military fiction when I realized SF had gone to the tree huggers (Micheal Crichton excepted) and so escaped to the alternative of battlescape prose.
Alas, these have become formulaic with the authors not-so-subtley preaching one social issue de jure after another and the protaganist being a white male of redneck perspective.
I guess it figures considering the crap our military academies fill young leadership with these days. The officer corps is where most of the military fiction (thriller) authors started and some never shook off the brainwashing. The services must be gettin' relly good at it.
The last book I read was called TYPHOON by Robin White. Preachy as hell. Women in the service. Women in SUBMARINES. What an idiot. Red October rip off.

Rumors and Legends

There is a rumor going round these parts that a certain champion stud aptly named....W'ell just call him GZ, made an honest attempt with good progress to kill a certain highly acclaimed "natural" horseman called in to work on his aggressive tendencies. The 'natural' horsemanship movement has done a lot to increase the general horse owning population's grasp of equine psychology and how we can relate to our equine partners, but it only goes so far. A racehorse is a different animal from a quarterhorse. Thoroughbreds can be extremely aggressive. We are taught that horses are basically cowards and tussle to determine a herd order. They don't care who is in charge; they just need to know who it is. Well, some DO care; they mean to be in charge no matter what's before them.

Horse people are wont to exaggerate about horses almost as much as fishermen are about fish, so take that with a grain of salt, but I've been hearing tales of this critter for some time now. Things like using tranquilizer dart guns to get close enough to him to work safely......

Personally, I heard a man that has handled thousands of horses tell another (both men at the top of their profession) visiting the stall where the beast resided not to go in there.
"He'll kill ya'."
The second fella thought he was exaggerating so the other restrained him until he understood the situation was serious. Deadly serious

Barbaro Down. Sucks.

It seems the Triple Crown has become an insurmountable obstacle lately. Whether or not luck, some dumbass not seeing to the proper operation of the gates, or a pure wild eyed wanna-kick-somebody's-ass stud bangin' hell out of everything in sight brought on the injury to the bones making up Barbaro's pastern joint (near as I can tell from the bullshit the vet had to say) I don't know, but I am getting tired of seeing these babies (they aren't much more than that) hurt at every turn. If they don't kill this horse I'll be shocked.

How about we race five year olds. Horses would be stronger. More sound. They could actually have a career. Racing would be well served with some continuity from year to year, training could take place over a longer span of time, the physically unfit could be weeded out, and times would come down. Why can no one run with Secretariat? After 35 years of advancement in equine nutrition, training, genetics, and care and while human performance records are broken daily, it seems.

I'm not sayin' horses should not be trained in their early developement - there is research to suggest that early training done properly actually initiates strengthening of equine bone structure and connective tissue. Perhaps, though some thought should be given to letting the developement of stonger bones continue before we let them stampede over a race course with their buddies.


Update:

Richardson outlined Barbaro's medical problems: a broken cannon bone above the ankle, a broken sesamoid bone behind the ankle and a broken long pastern bone below the ankle. The fetlock joint — the ankle — was dislocated.

Folks, that is bad. The sesamoid bones are two bones wrapped in connective tissue at the back of the fetlock joint and together they provide a fulcrum for the propulsive forces transmitted to the foot by the Deep Flexor Tendon. Think of it as a bridge on a stringed instrument. It takes a lot of tension to break that thing, and it will complicate the chances for recovery. No one has said if the bones were simply fractured or actually displaced.
Remember horse racing is a business and they may decide his insurance is a better bet than his breeding prospects. Let's hope the owners take off the accountants hat and put on their horseman's cap.

Girls in Charge

Girlcop Arrests Couple  For Asking For Directions



This is what happens when the feminine mind aquires authority. Add menopause to the mix and it's anybody's ballgame. The girl convict is reported to have both her parents on another police force. Catfight anyone? One good ass whoopin' would fix this little problem and have girlcop running back to the kitchen. Might even save her life.

In saner times it was common to describe a man's thinking as having a "feminine mind"
if he was one to let emotion rule his decision making above logic.

"The New Pollock" or "Buckeye's and Gravity Don't Mix"

BREITBART.COM - Tape Shows Man Fell Overboard From Cruise

Buckeyes - wankers from ohio who talk through their noses and are assued, all evidence to the contrary, of their own superior intellect.

It seems whereever they go in this wide world they find some dumbass way of getting killed.

We have a problem here in the Bluegrass with invading vacationing buckeyes.  They are drawn to the Dan'l Boone National Forest in droves to drive the scenic routes, jet-ski upon the recreational lakes, hunt the woods, and climb the rocks.

The former examples are annoying owing to their rude nature and conduct, but  that last one is what gets 'em into trouble. Buckeye's know that the yankees conquered gravity long ago and if one watches the Discovery Channel and smokes enough dope one can do just about anything. Like, say, free climbing, or amusing one's friends by shitting off a cliff (oops! the toilet paper got away.... I'll just catch it........ Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!  ... splat), or repelling Aussie style down a 300 ft rock house.

Y'all may think I'm kiddin', but one of the wife's former patients who was the owner of an ambulance service in the Red River Gorge (part of the Dan'l Boone National Forest) remarked to her he could not make an appointmet on a selected date. It seems that was in the busy season for his business as yearly, around that time, buckeye activity in the gorge increased and with it a resulting spike in climbing (falling) infuries. He further remarked that he wouldn't be able to stay in business were it not "for all the buckeyes fallin' off rocks."

Next time y'all hear of somebody gettin' eaten by a bear in the Smokies or runnin' his jetski under the bow of a barge take note of his/her native state. 10 to 1 it's a buckeye.

Tomorrow we will be discussing minnesota soccer fans.

Nobody in the Village People was Wearing a BMW Suit

I have an uncle who rides a Road King (yes, he really does ride it) who was telling me about one of his riding buddies showing up on a BMW GS1100 for a group ride. He said he informs bystanders when they arrive at a stop that the BMW rider is not gay.

My comment: "Do you tell them that while you're wearin' leather britches with the ass cut out of them?"
Reply: "Sometimes."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I pulled up next to a group of cruisers (Hardleys and whatnot - they all look alike to me) while on a ride with the wife last Friday on the KLR. As is more and more common these days, there were some females in the group on their own rather large cruisers instead of on the back like they belong. At a stoplight the wife and I said, "Hey" to the nearest rider (a girl) as is common when riders meet.

A second rider (on the other side from us next to the girl - no helmet, dark glasses - must protect from UV rays!) revved his bike and looked aorund at the SwampThing and said, "That's cute."

I stood up and yelled over the farting elephants:

"Did you ever play soccer?"
loser shakes head
"So how come you're ridin' a chick bike?"

Motorcycles: One's too many, and a dozen is not enough.

Vincente Fox Needs to Look Elsewhere For Trouble

MEXICO CITY (AP) -- Police enraged by the kidnapping of six officers club unarmed detainees. A bloody battle between steelworkers and police leaves two miners dead. Drug lords post the heads of decapitated police on a fence to show who's in charge.

So, Who thinks VF is using our border to deflect a little light from reaching the cockroaches? Excuse me, that should be "cock-a-roach".

No wonder folks are leaving Mexico in droves. I can't help thinking that the old adage applies: "Sell when everyone else is buying, and buy when everyone else is selling" might apply to Mexican real estate....

Notice

Nothing pithy today.

Move along.

The "Inter"national Guard" or A College Education at Work

Another link from Drudge to a Washington Post Story on using the National Guard for border security.

"We have to be very careful here," Sen. Chuck Hagel (R-Neb.) said yesterday on ABC's "This Week." "That's not the role of our military. That's not the role of our National Guard. . . . That's a short-term fix, and I'm not sure that's a very wise fix."

Did you read that? He said, "That's not the role of our military." If I recall correctly from 10th grade civics and kindergarten reading comprehension, that is the ONLY role for our military. Granted, they are not to be used to screen immigrant applications but protecting our real estate through the use of and the threat of the use of deadly force against those who seek to abuse the goodwill of the american citizenry (and in some cases aquire through sedition ownership or influence over some of that real estate for a foriegn power) is the be all and end all of our military's constitutinal authority.

I reckon we should rename the National Guard to the International Guard to better describe what the high flyin' intellects in the senate percieve as the Guard's duty.

I thought surely the senator would have to be a juris doctor to make such an assinine statement, but it turns out he is merely a graduate of St. Bonaventure High School, Columbus, Nebraska, the Brown Institute for Radio and Television, Minneapolis, Minnesota, and the University of Nebraska at Omaha.


Disclaimer:
Y'all know conquest is my stated preference for our military's use. It is also well known that I have no problem with giving california to mexico outright; in 10 years they would be begging us to take it back. But facts is facts.

Un-Reconstructed

The horror. The horror.

Drudge linked up this story of a teacher in South Carolina who has committed the ultimate sin and stated the obvious. History is settled on the issue of north american slavery and its cost/benefit to blacks, yet a man makes some pretty innocuous comments and the PC crowd is in a complete tizzy. What fun!

The place I find disagreement with this fellow is with the idea that one has to be very intelligent or white to be able to implement, understand, and responsibly function within a constitutionally limited republican government. Short of lacking the mental acuity of being able to wipe the spittle from one's own chin it's not too complex to fathom. Sure, a succession of genius level intellects occupying learned, inquisitive, and observant minds was required to formulate western political philosophy, but the hard part is done. Understanding what they laboured to conceptualize hardly requires even a shadow of their intellect. We are intellectually standing on their shoulders and not required to be able to bear their burden.

Where we have fallen short is in succumbing to the temptation of what is (at it's root) marxist philosophy, which appeals to the less motivated among us of any colour, coupled with institutional enforcement of indoctrination.

It is worthy of note that the fearless reporter went straight to the school district and "informed" it of Dr. McCuen's comments. Note the use of "informed" rather than the most journalistic "when asked about". A look into the motivation of the reporter, wouldn't you say?

Do watch the video. It is informative of the goals of modern journalism in that the reporter does not ask questions pertinent to the subject being discussed, such as asking for comment on the espoused views of those making a living off inflammatory remarks "on behalf" of black folks, but continuously asks leading questions to generate a maximum level of controversy.

The Bag Trick

Seems some things are universal.....

A KLR in action - bear in mind an XR650L was pulled out from this same hole moments before. I don't think that's much deeper than some of the mudholes we rode through Satrday.

The Twelve Miler – Minibike heaven, KLR hell.

This is where a KLR has no business being anytime after wet weather, though sections of it were the most enjoyable. Lots of water holes and creek crossing, some pretty fast and high splashin' fun. There were however a lot of tight sections that the KLR is just too big and long (for my skill level anyway) to negotiate. We started out on wide gravel for a few miles then transitioned onto singletrack. It didn't take long to find lots of wet, slick rock outcroppings and eroded roots in the trail. SwampThing prefers plain old mud to this stuff and communicated this to me by some serious pounding through the handlebars that it was displeased. At the (ahem) stately pace I was maintaining it was easy to either lose traction altogether and thus control or kill the engine negotiating a particularly steep sided obstacle. I began to feather the clutch in tight maneuvering or application of throttle when negotiating steep obstacles. This seemed to help a lot, but got me into trouble on the only real even half-assed hill climb I attempted as I feathered when I should have been used the stick on SwampThing. No matter, it only took six guys, with the engine helping to get the beast moving up hill again.

We were denied much further exploration due to high water and a low bike The Kid brought, but found a long wide beach near a creek that served as a bullshitting stop and gave everyone a chance to ride each other's minibikes. I tried out Dr. Jekyll's KDX200 and found it amazingly user friendly with supple suspension, of course you have to shift every half second when on the gas.... No thanks.

Throughout all the riding Saturday, The minibikes periodically would “shed” parts and pieces. Inevitably, they would look to me for a solution. The KLR has a lot of parts that are extraneous for trail riding and became the designated fastener donor for at least three of the minibikes. I will note the only other Kawasaki had no such issues, even after the saw-briar patch with Brer Larry.

Babysister and stopped on the way home for a chocolate shake at a nearby burger stand and while we were there with his RM250 minibike and the SwampThing in the trailer a fella stopped on the highway to how much that Kawasaki cost, because he really had always wanted one. Babysister remarked there must be something wrong with people in those parts 'cause the Suzuki's were the good bikes to which another bystander explained, “KLR's are awesome!”

Like I always say when it comes to the KLR: “No matter what you ride, I can ride with you but you can't ride with me.”

The Nine Miler or "Larry Goes Gonzo"

The Nine Miler

This trail is a little misnamed because it is out and back across the same route. Of all the riding Saturday this trail is the best suited to the KLR. Except for one spot going one direction.

There are a lot on nice uphills well suited to the big fourstroke, and muddy turns, with little double-hump water crossings to get the front up on with minimal bottoming on the down side. Of course, the boys on the twosmokers were bouncin' down the trail like twitterpated rabbits.

All was going remarkably well until we came to a long steep uphill composed completely of rocky outcroppings. Lookin' at it from the bottom I was wondering what all the fuss was about and figured I'd just tractor up and over the shit and be on my way. Until Larry stopped. Because The Kid stopped.

One does not stop a KLR650 on a steep, bouldered hillside and expect it to just up and take off again without any fuss. As they say, “An ounce of momentum is worth a pound of traction.” and I was all out of momentum with no traction in sight. Luckily Dr. Jekyll (“Ed”, for short) stayed back to make sure everyone negotiated the obstacle. It was not pretty. Lookin' back, I think I would have made it up the hill OK had Larry not stopped for The Kid stopping, but the sharp obstacled left and the immediate sharp obstacled right would have at least called for stopping to maneuver.

Past “The Rocky Hill” it was mostly all downhill and the big fourstroke enginebrakes well so it was a blast. Coming back the other direction was the usual miles of smiles! The Rocky Hill was pretty uneventful going the other way. Zero pucker factor; Chug! Chug! Chug!, and away we went.

So far I had not dropped the bike and was rapidly building confidence in it. It was obvious to me that the front end was, at once, too stiff at the bottom and too soft at the top of it's stroke compounded by being just plain too short in stroke overall. The other fellas were flyin' down the trail and waiting on me periodically, but my babysitter (Claude) was always nearby.

I can't imagine what a pain in the ass that was, but I carried extra water to make the burden even. I didn't flaunt the refreshments in front of the others at stops on the hot d r y trail, but Claude did.

At one stop, Larry was beaming under the praise of everyone present for the apparent ease with which he was riding given his limited experience. Some more advanced watercrossing techniques were discussed and I guess Larry thought he'd give it a try, so....

Fifty feet into the restart Claude and I hear a twostroke rev to the sky screaming like someone had it by the balls, and see Larry hit a water hole with the front wheel up. What a Splash! It must have impressed him because Larry didn't let off before setting up for the next waterhole immediately following the first. That's when it got ugly. Or funny, depending on your perspective. The bike left the first water hole a bit out of control, hit the second completely out of control and entered the trailside briar patch airbourne. All this to the accompaniment of the sounds of breaking saplings and ripping cloth! Larry didn't stop until he was 15 feet deep into a saw-briar patch well over his head. All we heard after that was a loud pitiful wail of, “Heeeeelllllp!”. He had entered the saw-briar patch with all four appendages spread eagle and only his asshole still connected to the bike. The clenching is what kept him on the seat.

After much laughing at Larry's expense (Claude was forced to piss on a nearby tree lest he soil himself and I nearly dropped the SwampThing into the dirt I was so weak from hysteria), we began extricating him from the patch. Try untangling a spider web while laughing yourself silly. Sadly, we failed to express any sympathy for poor Larry. Luckily, he was laughing, too. Through the pain. That was the best wreck of the day.

I know this is off topic but....... Damn!

Honest Dirt

Mission: Explore the off road capability of the my KLR650 (SwampThing) with an eye toward suspension evaluation and determination of required upgrades if any. Further, evaluate my own off road skills as relates to a heavyweight dualsport.



Modus Operandi: Meet with some fellas from work who are twostroke devotees riding from 100cc to 250cc Japanese twostrokes with a KTM 250 for good measure.



Personnel:

Claude and JACIII (me): Claude was my excellent host for this outing and rides a Suzuki RM250. Good steady rider who occasionally has flights of impulsive behavior like trying to follow Kyle up hills only the soft of head desire to go.

Eddie and his boy Kyle: Eddie hales from Monticello, Ky. and is a Jekyll and Hyde type of rider. Mild mannered and soft spoken off the bike but he changes when strapped to a KDX200. Nuts. The only time you'll see him is at the trail head and back at the truck. Some demon possesses him when he gets on a bike. His boy Kyle, at least, lets ya' know he is crazy from the get go. In the time it took to Claude and me to unload our bikes Kyle had managed to ride and drop all four of the other bikes there. On purpose. Kyle rides a KTM 250 and it's a beast.

Larry and The Kid: Larry is also a coworker and quite a large boy. He has limited motorcycle experience and rode one of Eddie's bikes as his guest. Recipient of the most creative waterhole crossing award. The Kid (don't know his name) showed up on an old Suzuki 100cc four stroke with no knobs in the center of the back tire. A game rooster if ever there was one.



The Tale:
We all met at an OHV area in the Daniel Boone National Forest called “S-Tree”. There are three trails we on the agenda: The Five Miler, The Nine Miler, and The 20 Miler. I don't think that's their appropriate designation, but these boys are from Monticello and Winchester. By God.
All was well and the bikes were unloaded without incident which led to some impromptu ride swapping. The others were dubious about the KLR's ability to negotiate the trails. I figured if ATV's could handle it the SwampThing could too. I chose what I thought was a light loadout of only a tankbag on the mighty SwampThing.



Five Miler:
This is a piece of work. The forest service has actually laid pavers down at water crossings and up some hills to prevent silting and erosion. It's pretty damned tight throughout and I kept worrying about the slime that likes to grow on rocks underwater making the front wash out and flopping me to the ground. I later learned there is enough traffic through there to keep such stuff at bay, but it was in the back of my mind nonetheless. I took the last position in the group so as not to hold anyone up with my behemoth. My biggest extra-trail excursion occurred in a deep left hander that looked to be a safe berm shot when my front tire initially refused to climb the berm wall to let me start my line high. The front then grabbed all at once and shot me straight up the three foot berm into a foot wide tree. Crunch. It took ten minutes to get the bike free and back on the trail. I eventually made it to where the rest of the fellas had stopped for a break when I noticed my temperature gauge pegging. I shut down and commence work to get the fan going again. Eddie and I worked at bending the radiator back into place and getting the fan some turning clearance, but became frustrated so Claude had to do it. It was then that I realized I was still running road pressure in my tires. While Claude was finishing up with the fan I aired the tires down to safe dirt pressures. What a difference! The rest of that trail was uneventful but really fun. Think rollercoaster with your own gas pedal and small jumps every fifty feet!

Brokeback Fender

I just got in from ridin' trails all day. Me and the Swampthing were in amongst the 125 and 250 two-smokers with a KLX250s and a KX450 four stroke for good measure.

Tales are to follow and maybe a pic. Rest assured, I have been out doing things you shouldn't do on a KLR.

No, that's not me. I had some difficulty with a tree just off the trail bending the radiator back into the fan, so Claude volunteered to straighten the fan bracket enough so I could continue. Sadly this is the only pic I got on the trails due to a digital camera that was not up to the task of vibration resistance required in the tankbag of the SwampThing.

Holy BatShit !

Meet HolyCaveman:


This fella posts on the KLR650.net forum and is pretty much the designated suspension experimenter and practicioner of the arcane art of suspension tuning. Somebody forgot to tell him certain things are Not Done on a KLR650.

Absurdity Is No Obstacle

NAPLES, Fla. -- A sheriff's pilot was temporarily blinded when someone aimed a green laser into his helicopter's cockpit, authorities said.
Two Collier County sheriff's pilots were searching for a loud party in Naples last Friday when the laser beam was directed into their cockpit, sheriff's Lt. Mark Cherney said.
One of the pilots was wearing night vision goggles, which amplified the beam and temporarily blinded him.
The pilot suffered severe headaches and it remains unclear if the laser caused lasting damage to his eyes, Cherney said. The other pilot was not injured by the beam.
It is a felony to point a laser at an aircraft. No one has been charged in the attack.

"We have some leads," Cherney said. "We're looking for more."

This is cute. Robo-cop wannabes using nightvision while piloting a helecopter on a secret mission looking for loud parties.

I wonder what the budget is for the "Loud Party Airial Reconnisance Patrol" , hmmm?

Let's see a nice used Bell Helicopter is for sale on ebay for $895,000.
Nightvision goggles for around $2500 for the good stuff.
Pilot - let's say $70.000.
co-pilot - $65,000
Ground support and maintenance I guess around $100,000 year contracted out.

If the city of naples, Florida is prepared to spend that kinda money to locate Loud Parties nothing is beyond the pale for the fedgov. Any calls of "The fderal government doesn't have the time or resources to_______." should fall on deaf ears. Anything a governing body can/may do, it will do. Absurdity is no obstacle.

Diesel Conversion - Not the KLR

Anybody have any idea how much HP in a diesel would be required to move my Suburban down the road at legal speeds? It's probably around 7,000 lbs loaded. EP? Bill? Astro? Y'all know who I'm talkin' to.

I find myself lamenting the prospect of unloading the behemoth for a more economical form of personal transport and have recently found the time to consider picking up an old 4 cylinder Perkins or somesuch out of an outdoor forklift, straight truck (6 wheeler) or marine power unit and doin' a swap. I have the rescources to engineer and execute this and I figure it will put the 'burb near the 20mpg mark which I can live with. Gearing is not a problem as the 'burb has a tall overdrive.

I'm not a bit interested in being able to haul ass down the road and am thinking the european approach to powering a 'lorrie' is the way to go.