Having said that, I'd be very disappointed in Nate if he went on this trip
regardless of when the new one's born. Dr. Who needs you now, through the birth
and for weeks after.Be a man. This ain't time to be playing with your friends
and brothers, son.
Bah! I have held for quite some time now that a man has no business scurrying around like a midwife or wet nurse. Sure, when you look at the situation from a distance is seems right that the man should participate in the harrowing experience of delivery and assist in the hard hours immediately thereafter with getting baby fed, imprinted, started on the road to survuval in this big ol' world.
A man has no business in that delivery room or taking on the lion's (female) share of the intense initial care of baby. Mom needs her mother or her sister (presuming birthing experience) in there or both; a man is of no use other than to stand idly by recieving abuse from his woman while in extremis. I don't say this lightly, nor is this a 'traditional role' argument. There are few things that get under a man's skin like being involved in a problematic situation for which he has no solution or aid to present. We have a natural 'fix it' instinct which is thwarted by the alien environment for which we are unprepared into which we are thrust in this situation. Ladies, you have no idea how bad we want to kill somebody during this time.
And Girl's! Have you lost your damn minds? The risk is greater than the reward from the woman's perspective here unless the 'social boner' you get from telling all your girlfriends of the episode has an unhealthy importance. Given that the male reproductive system is highly motivated by visual stimulus, you risk nothing less than the loss of your man's desire for you. On the hit parade of important things to a happy wife this is #1 with a bullet. It is not uncommon for a man to carry with him a lasting image of his favorite female body part in a hideously distended state with all sorts of gruesome discharge in surprisingly large volumes (think 5 gallon buckets here) emanating therefrom. Remembering that we are inclined to 'root' around in these things from time to time from sheer exuberance, fixing this image in a man's mind would seem to be undesirable on the woman's part. The pactice of feminine hygene while in menses is surely less graphicly offensive yet women have no desire to 'share' this with their man.
On the matter of initial caregiving, we are useless. We can't feed the baby, we have no instinct nor equipment in these matters. We are only capable of futiley trying determine whom to injure to cause our offspring to stop wailing. Sure we can tote and fetch, but anyone can do that and we provide no comfort to the female past playing nursemaid. Not what we were built for. There is a mother, motherinlaw or sister somewhere quite capable and willing to help a woman with her 'sitz' bath.
The whole man in childbirth thing boggles the mind.
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