Res: I don't think I was.
Waterboy: Yes, you were. You were in terrible peril.
Res: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.
Waterboy: No, it's too perilous.
Res: Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can.
Waterboy: No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on.
Res: Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?
Waterboy: No. It's unhealthy.
Res: I bet you're gay.
Waterboy: Am not.
Gregg: Who goes there?
Nate: It is I, Nate, son of Peep Peepdragon, from the castle of Peepalot. King of the Peeps, defeater of the Saxons, Sovereign of all Peeps!
Gregg: Pull the other one!
Nate: I am, and this is my trusty servant Peepsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of peeps who will join me in my court at Peepalot. I must speak with your lord and master.
Gregg: What? Ridden on a horse?
Nate: Yes!
Gregg: You're using coconuts!
Nate: What?
Gregg: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together.
Nate: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercia, through...
Gregg: Where'd you get the coconuts?
Nate: We found them.
Gregg: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!
Nate: What do you mean?
Gregg: Well, this is a temperate zone
Nate: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
Gregg: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
Nate: Not at all. They could be carried.
Gregg: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
Nate: It could grip it by the husk!
Bill: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
Nate: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Nate from the Court of Peepalot is here?
Bill: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
Nate: Please!
Bill: Am I right?
JACIII: There she is!
Welldigger: Where?
JACIII: There!
Welldigger: What? Behind the Spacebunny?
JACIII: It *is* the Spacebunny!
Welldigger: You silly sod!
JACIII: What?
Welldigger: You got us all worked up!
JACIII: Well, that's no ordinary Spacebunny.
Welldigger: Ohh.
JACIII: That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered female you ever set eyes on!
JamieR: You tit! I soiled my kilt I was so scared!
JACIII: Look, that Spacebunny's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer!
Whosyourhuckleberry: Get stuffed!
JACIII: She'll do you up a treat, mate.
Whosyourhuckleberry: Oh, yeah?
JamieR: You mangy Scots git!
JACIII: I'm warning you!
JamieR: What's she do? Nibble your arse?
JACIII: She's got huge, sharp... er... She can leap about. Look at the BONES!
Welldigger: Go on, BrandX. Chop his head off!
BrandX: Right! Silly little bleeder. One Spacebunny stew comin' right up!
[after BrandX is killed by the Spacebunny]
JACIII: I *warned* you, but did you listen to me? Oh, no, you *knew*, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little *bunny*, isn't it?
Doom: DarlinJoy!
DrWho: No, I am DarlinJoy's identical twin sister, DrWho.
[He tried to get past her]
DrWho: Where are you going?
Doom: I seek the Grail! I have seen it, here in this castle!
DrWho: No, oh no! Bad, bad DarlinJoy!
Doom: What is it?
DrWho: She has been setting a light to our beacon, which, I've just remembered, is Grail shaped. It's not the first time we've had this problem.
Doom: It's not the real Grail?
DrWho: Oh, wicked, bad, naughty evil DarlinJoy! Oh, she is a bad person, and she must pay the penalty!
Blondage: You must spank her well, and after you are done with her, you may deal with her as you like... and then... spank me.
Nate: And me. And me too. And me.
Blondage: Yes. Yes, you must give us all a good spanking.
Special request for Waterboy ----->
The Lizard Queen: Old woman.
Vox: Man.
The Lizard Queen: Man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?
Vox: I'm 37.
The Lizard Queen: What?
Vox: I'm 37. I'm not old.
The Lizard Queen: Well I can't just call you "man".
Vox: Well you could say "Vox".
The Lizard Queen: I didn't know you were called Vox.
Vox: Well you didn't bother to find out did you?
The Lizard Queen: I did say sorry about the "old woman", but from behind you looked... [discreetly replaces artificial appendage behind mail]
Vox: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior.
The Lizard Queen: Well I am queen.
Vox: Oh, queen eh? Very nice. And how'd you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.
The Lizard Queen: I am your queen.
Astrosmith: Well I didn't vote for you.
The Lizard Queen: You don't vote for queens.
Astrosmith: Well how'd you become queen then?
[Angelic music plays... ]
The Lizard Queen: The Lady Under the Desk, her clad in the purest blue dress held forth Excalibur from her bosom, signifying by divine providence that I, The Lizard Queen, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your queen.
Vox: [interrupting] Listen, strange women kneelin' under desks distributin', ahem, “swords” is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical erotic ceremony.
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