New Math

This poor bastard made the mistake of talking to a person instead of a computer:

[Start of Call]

[on hold with Verizon Wireless customer service]

Trent (Verizon): Hi.. Hey, George?

George: Yes.

T: Hey I'm really sorry about that wait there. Hey, I got Mike on the line. He's my supervisor over here and uh, he'll take care of you from here on out, okay?

G: Thanks.

T: Alright.

Mike (Verizon): Thanks Trent. Good evening George, how are you doing this evening?

G: Great, except that I've been trying to resolve this for two calls and over 45 minutes now.

M: Okay, well lets see what we got here, I'm definitely sorry that uh, that you've had to call in that many times. Let's see, ummm, looks like you're questioning some kilobyte usage that was done while in Canada?

G: Well, let me just start out with a basic question.

M: Okay.

G: Do you recognize that there's a difference between “point zero zero two dollars” and “point zero zero two cents”?

[pause]

M: Point zero zero two dollars?

G: Do you recognize that there is actually...

M: ...and point zero zero two cents.

G: Yes, do you you recognize there's a difference between those 2 numbers?

[pause]

M: No.

G: Okay, is there a difference between 2 dollars and 2 cents?

M: Well, yeah, sir..

G: Well okay, is it.. is there a difference between .002 dollars and .002 cents?

M: .002 dollars and .002 cents.

G: Yes, is there a difference between..

M: Sir, sir, they're.. they're both the same if you, if you look at 'em on paper-wise

G: No.. they're not, actually. It.. is .5 dollars the same as .5 cents?

M: Is .5 dollars..?

G: Is half a dollar..

M: That would be.. That would be 50 cents.

G: A half a dollar.. is it the same as a half of a cent?

M: No.

G: Right.

M: Okay.

G: So, clearly, two one-thousandths of a dollar, which is your rate for airtime as I now understand it, uh, your rate per kilobyte in Canada is two one-thousandths of a dollar. But two one-thousandths of a dollar is different than two one-thousandths of a *cent*. What I was quoted was .002 cents. That's two one-thousandths of a cent per kilobyte.

M: Mmhm. okay...?

G: I specifically asked the rep. I said, “Are you saying it's .002 dollars or .002 cents?” because I .. *I* recognize that there's a difference. Just like there's a difference between that half a dollar and half a cent.

M: Okay.

G: There's a difference between .002 dollars and .002 cents. Your rate in Canada is .002 cents.

M: Correct.

G: Uh, it's point, point... Well okay, it's not true, it's .002 dollars. You're still quoting me .002 cents when in fact it's .002 dollars per kilobyte. So, if you want to charge me .002 cents, I'd be happy to pay the bill, the problem is I was charged .002 dollars per kilobyte.

M: Okay, so if you take.. okay.. do you have a calculator with you?

G: Yeah, I do.

G: Okay, take this uh, 71.79.

G: Yeah.

M: And divide that by uh, 35,893 you should come out with .002

G: Yes, and what units should it be? Dollars or cents?

M: Well that's per *kilobyte*.

G: Right. And is it dollars or cents per kilobyte?

M: Well, let me take a look here for ya.

[time passes...]

M: [looking up rates] We're.. we're in Canada..

[time passes...]

M: Hold on one second for me..

[time passes...]

M: [mumbles something about Canada]

[time passes...]

G: For the record, what I was quoted before I went to Canada, I called because I'm on an unlimited plan in the United States and I thought I might be paying more when I go to Canada.

M: Right.

G: What I was quoted was .002 cents. That seems to be what you believe is the rate is .002 cents. Unfortunately, your computer system charged me .002 dollars per kilobit, er, per kilobyte, so my point here is the confusion is on your side, and the first rep I spoke to, the second rep I spoke to, and including you, in calling “.002 dollars” “.002 cents”, that's a hundredfold difference just like one dollar is 100 times different than1 cent.

[time passes...]

M: Okay... looking at the pricing here for ya.

M: Okay.. for data.

M: National roaming access coverage in Canada is .002 per kilobyte cents.

G: Can you say that again?

M: It's .002 cents per kilobyte

G: .002 cents per kilobyte. So you just quoted me again; your price is .002 cents per kilobyte

M: Correct.

G: Okay, so now I'd like you to translate my 35,893 kilobytes into dollars if you would.

M: Okay, if you take .002

G: Cents, remember, cents.

M: Times 35,896. 71 dollars and 79...

G: No, that would be 71 cents because you started with a rate per *cent* and multiplied by the kilobytes, so that would be 71 cents. I'll tell you what the problem is here, is you, you're.. the original person I spoke to *before* I used my airtime...

M: Mmhmm.

G: Up to and including you, are quoting .002 dollars per kilobyte as if it's .002 cents per kilobyte and they're not the same, so I assumed that you guys knew how to do math. No offense here , but i assumed that you knew the difference between .002 cents and .002 dollars. And it sounds like there's still some confusion about that. .002 dollars is two one-thousandths of one dollar, or two tenths of one cent, which is very different than two one-thousandths of one cent. It's one hundred times different. [pause] I'll give you a brief example: If you're selling your car and I said I'm gonna give you twenty thousand for it, and I show up with 20,000 pennies, we're not speaking the same language. If you quote me .002 cents it's not the same as .002 dollars. So, when you just did the math .002 times 35,893, you came up with 71 cents. You didn't do the translation from cents to dollars, which would be... you'd have to.. uh, divide by a hundred, so then you get .71 dollars: 71 cents, So, I do understand, even though it seems like maybe *you* don't, that the rate is, I now understand: .002 *dollars* per kilobyte. But that was not what i was quoted, and that's not how I used my airtime because i thought it was... I thought it was cheaper than it actually turned out to be, because I was misquoted.

M: Mmhm.

G: I also had no context. The previous person i was speaking to said I should have had some context because i know what the united states rates - I *don't* know what the United States rates are, because I have an unlimited plan. I don't have to be concerned about the United States rates.

M: Mmhm.

G: So. It all comes down to me being misquoted, and it's hard.. it, would, it, it.. At the time, I, I said there could be some confusion here, so I asked the customer service rep, “Can you please write that down in the notes, that you quoted me .002 cents?”

M: Mmhm.

G: And she did.

M: Right, and I see that.. I see not only one, but I see several reps that have put it in here.

G: Right. So I.. I hope, it sounds like you may not actually see what the problem is yet, but ah..

M: Well, I've been working here 2 years sir, and I've been a supervisor for almost a year and a half.

G: Okay..

M: Okay? Umm, ya know, I'm going by what is.. what is documented here in the system.

G: Right.. so can you tell me then if, if the rate is as you quoted .002 cents per min.. per kilobyte, and I used 35,893.kilobytes, how much should I be charged?

M: By, by.. The way this is calculated? Seventy-one dollars and seventy-nine cents.

G: You did your math wrong, so what I'm saying is you did... bring up your calculator.

M: I.. I've got the calculator in front of me, sir. If i type in .002 and multiply that by 35 thousand, nine hundred...

G: But wait! but but.. Here's the key.. I know, but here's the key: What does the .002 represent? Cents or dollars?

M: It's cents, sir.

G: Okay, .002 cents...

M: So basically you're paying... you're paying two tenths of a penny [pause] per kilobyte. If you want to look at it that way.

G: Two tenths? hold on, hold on.. two tenths of a penny...

M: Mmhm.

G: ...would be .2 cents. You quoted me .002 cents. Do you see what I'm saying? [pause] Two tenths of one cent...

M: Mmhm.

G: ...would be point two cents. You quoted me .002 cents.

M: That's correct.

G: there's a difference between .2 cents and .002 cents. They're 100 times different. So which is the real rate?

M: .002 sir.

G: .002 what?

M: Cents per kilobyte!

[pause]

G: So you just said it was .2 pennies and then you also said it was .002 cents. Those are 2 completely different numbers. They're 100-fold different. Quoting someone .002 cents per kilobyte is different than .002 dollars per kilobyte. I... I don't know what else more I can tell ya. The math... the math on the bill is right if it's .002 dollars per kilobyte. It was quoted .002 cents.

M: George, hold on one second for me okay?

G: Sure.

Link for the full conversation is here.