Proclamtion

RE: This post at Vox. Follow the first link in the post.

By the power vested in me by Jimmy Russel's 50.5% alcohol by volume on Sunday mornin' while everyone else is in church, on authority of my rusty pickup truck, extensive gun collection, Farmall tractor, Justin boots, Resistol hats, shiney belt buckle, Copenhagen, and George Strait's Greatest Hits I do hereby declare VD to be forever absolved of the unnatural sin of foo-foo drinks in recognition of his not insignificant contribution to the Lost Cause and the defamation of That Bastard Lincoln.

From this day forward let no man ridicule VD for his past foo-foo drink transgressions lest the comfort that is the shade of the Magnolia, the refreshment that is Sweet Tea, and the glory that is the Rebel Yell be forever denied him.


Amen.