Thursday, August 25, 2005

That "I" thing.

Y'all see I've got a graphic below of Hank. To me Hank is what country music was, is, and should forever be. There's nothin' like that twanging voice breaking just right. And the subject matter; women, whiskey, whinin', and "don't give a damn" songs. Perfecttion.

Example: "There's a tear in my beer, 'cause I'm cryin' for you dear."

Now, that's density of subject matter! But, I digress.

Hank's boy is a fine Southern icon, and his grandson finally got his shit together sounding eerily like THE Hank. But, them boys are tryin' to do what the Grandaddy done by nature, and the tale is told in the "I"'s. Every so often in his progenies' songs they break out with that damned yankee "Iyee". Sounds like fingernails on a chalkboard and there are otherwise fine songs that I cannot listen to due to this abomination.

There are some places in the South where the two pronunciations coexist though not interchangeably. Example: "It's right there, dammit!" right is pronounced with the correct Southern i while "That's right, Bubba, we should shoot that yankee bastard." may be pronounced with the yankee i.

It ain't hard to tell when a feller grew up in L.A. and is tryin' to fake our local dialect or he's putin' on airs tryin' to sound high-falutin' (Anyone think sounding like a buckeye makes you sophisticated?) though I'm sure they think we can't tell the difference.
Know what I say?
phwwwit!
That's what I say.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Three Lies Told by Harley Riders

1. I won this here belt buckle in a rodeo!
2. That there's my HOG and it's paid for!
3. Honest, officer, I was just "helping" that sheep
over the fence.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Everyone else is a wannabe



'nuf said.

That's Not a Mother

What's that psycho bitches name.. Sheehan? Don't expect the usual, "She has a right to say....because of her son's death." bullshit to appear here. Let me tell you what this nut is about.

She's one of those ubercontrolling wive's/mothers. She's one of those that wants everything her way and uses every emotional trick in the book to get it. If things don't go the slightest bit her way she broods, fumes, plots, and metes out punishment.

She's a nutcase liberal and her poor son had to grow up listening to that crap his whole life. She probably tried to make him into a panty-waist liberal cocksucker and he had to join the army to get out of her clutches. She's a control freak.

She doesn't miss him. She doesn't grieve for him. She uses him. She's contorting the meaning of his death in direct contradiction to the meaning of the gift he gave in the sacrifice of his young life. She dishonours his memory intentionally, because she's furious he defied her. This is her retribution. She's a bitch.

Monday, August 22, 2005

Dial-a-Nag

This is not directed at Gregg, though Gregg and Welldigger are, indeed, the genesis of the idea.

Occasionally the single men among us get carried away with a train of thought or pursue a question or point way past relevancy or pertinence; i.e. they go off the deep end. When this happens I always get to thinkin', "If these fella's had a wife/steady girlfriend they wouldn't have the time to cause a ruckus or go around appearing disconnected from reality. What they need is some woman tellin' 'em what they should be doing all the time." Just like me. Just like Nate. Just like Vox, and Bane, and Res, and.......you know know who you are.

I can't remember if Res Ispa or I came up with the idea so let's just say Res did so he'll get the blame. I'll tell Mrs. JACIII it was all his doing, but the gist of it is that we set Gregg or Welldigger up with a 1-900 number and when our wives feel like naggin' someone we have them call Gregg or Digger. It's for their own good, really. Gregg and Digger get what they deserve...er, uh...need and we get some relief for the paltry sum of , say, .25 per minute.


Res has fleshed this out a bit more:

JAC,
I think we need to develop the dial a nag idea more. We could be missing out on a million dollar business idea. Dial a nag and dialanag.com could fill the niche for men who think they want to be married but want to try it first. If we do it right, we can charge men to use it, and we could charge women to do the nagging. I’m thinking we could have a nag a therapy business too. We’d get women that are mad about whatever to set by the phone and when an unsuspecting guy calls in they can lay into him about what ever their husband hasn’t done yet. It’s truly a win win.
Res Ipsa


We may be onto something here...