So I've Been Watching Monty Python.....

Waterboy: We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril.
Res: I don't think I was.
Waterboy: Yes, you were. You were in terrible peril.
Res: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.
Waterboy: No, it's too perilous.
Res: Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can.
Waterboy: No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on.
Res: Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?
Waterboy: No. It's unhealthy.
Res: I bet you're gay.
Waterboy: Am not.


Gregg: Who goes there?
Nate: It is I, Nate, son of Peep Peepdragon, from the castle of Peepalot. King of the Peeps, defeater of the Saxons, Sovereign of all Peeps!
Gregg: Pull the other one!
Nate: I am, and this is my trusty servant Peepsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of peeps who will join me in my court at Peepalot. I must speak with your lord and master.
Gregg: What? Ridden on a horse?
Nate: Yes!
Gregg: You're using coconuts!
Nate: What?
Gregg: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together.
Nate: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercia, through...
Gregg: Where'd you get the coconuts?
Nate: We found them.
Gregg: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!
Nate: What do you mean?
Gregg: Well, this is a temperate zone
Nate: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
Gregg: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
Nate: Not at all. They could be carried.
Gregg: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
Nate: It could grip it by the husk!
Bill: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
Nate: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Nate from the Court of Peepalot is here?
Bill: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
Nate: Please!
Bill: Am I right?



JACIII: There she is!
Welldigger: Where?
JACIII: There!
Welldigger: What? Behind the Spacebunny?
JACIII: It *is* the Spacebunny!
Welldigger: You silly sod!
JACIII: What?
Welldigger: You got us all worked up!
JACIII: Well, that's no ordinary Spacebunny.
Welldigger: Ohh.
JACIII: That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered female you ever set eyes on!
JamieR: You tit! I soiled my kilt I was so scared!
JACIII: Look, that Spacebunny's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer!
Whosyourhuckleberry: Get stuffed!
JACIII: She'll do you up a treat, mate.
Whosyourhuckleberry: Oh, yeah?
JamieR: You mangy Scots git!
JACIII: I'm warning you!
JamieR: What's she do? Nibble your arse?
JACIII: She's got huge, sharp... er... She can leap about. Look at the BONES!
Welldigger: Go on, BrandX. Chop his head off!
BrandX: Right! Silly little bleeder. One Spacebunny stew comin' right up!
[after BrandX is killed by the Spacebunny]
JACIII: I *warned* you, but did you listen to me? Oh, no, you *knew*, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little *bunny*, isn't it?

Doom: DarlinJoy!
DrWho: No, I am DarlinJoy's identical twin sister, DrWho.
[He tried to get past her]
DrWho: Where are you going?
Doom: I seek the Grail! I have seen it, here in this castle!
DrWho: No, oh no! Bad, bad DarlinJoy!
Doom: What is it?
DrWho: She has been setting a light to our beacon, which, I've just remembered, is Grail shaped. It's not the first time we've had this problem.
Doom: It's not the real Grail?
DrWho: Oh, wicked, bad, naughty evil DarlinJoy! Oh, she is a bad person, and she must pay the penalty!
Blondage: You must spank her well, and after you are done with her, you may deal with her as you like... and then... spank me.
Nate: And me. And me too. And me.
Blondage: Yes. Yes, you must give us all a good spanking.

Special request for Waterboy ----->

The Lizard Queen: Old woman.
Vox: Man.
The Lizard Queen: Man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?
Vox: I'm 37.
The Lizard Queen: What?
Vox: I'm 37. I'm not old.
The Lizard Queen: Well I can't just call you "man".
Vox: Well you could say "Vox".
The Lizard Queen: I didn't know you were called Vox.
Vox: Well you didn't bother to find out did you?
The Lizard Queen: I did say sorry about the "old woman", but from behind you looked... [discreetly replaces artificial appendage behind mail]
Vox: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior.
The Lizard Queen: Well I am queen.
Vox: Oh, queen eh? Very nice. And how'd you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.
The Lizard Queen: I am your queen.
Astrosmith: Well I didn't vote for you.
The Lizard Queen: You don't vote for queens.
Astrosmith: Well how'd you become queen then?
[Angelic music plays... ]
The Lizard Queen: The Lady Under the Desk, her clad in the purest blue dress held forth Excalibur from her bosom, signifying by divine providence that I, The Lizard Queen, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your queen.
Vox: [interrupting] Listen, strange women kneelin' under desks distributin', ahem, “swords” is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical erotic ceremony.

Mr. Obvious

However in training you only set yourself back by letting body parts get removed because of stubborness.
Mutly

Now, that's funny. Don't ask me why.

Quote of the Day or Wisdom Where You Find It

I was working with a group in mixed company the other day when an acquaintance of us all was brought up for some lighthearted criticism. One of the older fellas says, "Oh, leave Randy alone; he's a good boy".
One of the women we were with pushed her hat down as she was turning to leave and said, almost to herself, " 'Not much call for good boys".

Nepostism

Even stipulating that little brothers are nothing more than what their elder siblings made of them sometimes the boy is just ON.

Check it out

Is There Anything Dumber Than Coed Wrestling?

My niece (not by blood) is involved in coed wrestling. Her father is normally a pretty level headed fella, but I think he has gone off his rocker completely here.

Let me get this straight. You transport your 14 year old daughter to practice and matches and encourage her to be pawed (excuse me grappled) by boys and encourage her to paw them in turn. I suspect there is no one tellin' the boys they may not use boobs for leverage and must not reach between the legs to turn their female opponent.

In the data turned up from the Google search there is always an aside about a girl "wrestler" being excited when a boy wrestler asks her out. Well, DUH! They just dryhumped themselves into a lather for six minutes.

Did they take the word "impropriety" out of the dictionary?

Comment of the Day

Re: Nate's Ridin' Suit

Boys are weird. Girls just don't do stuff like this..

Spacebunny

Riders Go Here

Nate, Welldigger, Gregg, BrandX, Bill and the rest of y'all (no one left out on purpose) go read the collected wisdom and foolishness of the Rounders.

Favorite cold weather riding tip - "There are gloves with fur on the index finger for the specific purpose of wiping your nose. After the snot freezes you just chip it off the fur and you have a fresh clean wiper again."

Let's see.....

Heated grips - check
barndoor fairing - check
one piece insulated riding suit - check
balaclava - check
toasty snot removal gloves - well....
Now, where did I put the rest of that teflon coated heater wire....

I thought I was a bad-ass rider but I only get a "Three Quarts" Rounder qualification.

Nate's Ridin' Suit

I was lookin' through my old pictures the other day and found this one from a few years back. We got caught out ridin' in worse than inclimate weather and improvised this for the poor boy so he could get to the next stop w/o expiring. Have duct tape will travel.