Thursday, December 09, 2004

The other side of horses.



I am a farrier.

For those of you who don't know, that is a fancy word for a blacksmith who shoes horses. I live and work near Lexington, Kentucky so I interact with a lot of horses, horsemen, and horsewomen on a regular basis. There has come up in the comments here some discussion of breeds and I have a couple things to address with respect to these comments, but first for those who haven't been here:

The Bluegrass:

I don't care where you live, what kind of horses your area is famous for, or how many cowboys live there. You ain't seen nothin' like Lexington and surrounds when it comes to horses. When I write 'horse farm' here, what comes to mind? Fifty acres and a mudhole with 30 dirty horses wandering around? 150 acres with a riding arena and a stable you could see yourself spending the night in? How about 3500 acres with seven 'barns' full of one family's hobby Morgan horses, each 'barn' has three guys fulltime to clean it, two fulltime trainers, and a fulltime manager. The walkway in the stud barn is brick paved. Now, when I write 'barn' to have to understand I don't mean what a cow lives in. Think shopping mall with stalls instead of boutiques, but with nicer bathrooms.
Impressive? That's a small farm for a breed nobody cares about. The entire area is lined with white four board fences, slave fences (fences of rocks fitted and stacked together in a manner requiring no mortar) and barns that look like mansions. There is even an honest to goodness no-shit castle.

Enough of that.

Draft horses; mess with them at your peril. I was helping a friend of mine, who goes 220lbs easily, shoe a percheron when a fly landed on its side. The horse used the farrier for a flyswat. The horse lifted him up (we hold the hoof between our knees), slapped him up against its belly, shook him loose onto the ground, and stepped on him. He survived, but was a might sore for a few days. How hard did the horse step on him? Hard enough to mash the fancy engraved silver lid on his copenhagen. Bear in mind the horse wasn't being belligerent; it is just so strong that it forgot and didn't notice it had a 220lb man attached to its leg. I won't shoe a draft horse for less than $100.00 per foot. Luckily, that scares most folks away.

Friesian's. Spacebunny, all women want Friesians. I can't imagine why except to look at 'em. Don't you get enough work on a hairbrush with your daughters? The tangles must be horrendous. And that long hair around their hooves - massive dingleberries!




Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Demon Spawn

I have two daughters. The only thing they have in common is that they wear cowGIRL boots with pointed toes and love their horses. Completely different in outlook, personality, and disposition. The little one, Isabella (7) is the firebreather. I just never know what she's gonna do!

We have a young 70lb. dog that likes to try and push Isabella around (35lbs.). I look up the other day and she's puttin' her boots to the dog. Walks on like nothing happened.

A little girl in her Sunday school class asked, "Will you play with me?".
Isabella says, "If Igive you a quarter will you leave me alone?".

We have been trying to get my oldest daughter to pay attention to her manners. She is 11 and we have been trying to get her to start sitting like a lady. We had been working on reminding her at every opportunity for a week or so when I walked by Isabella lounging in my recliner.
Hey, Dad!", she says while hoisting one leg up over her head, "Not very lady-like is it?!" Laughed herself silly.


I killed a beautiful young doe a couple years back. The girls insisted on seeing it. I was thinkin' well they damn sure won't eat any venison after seeing this pitiful innocent lookin' critter bad ol' Daddy shot. I opened the back of my wagoneer (yep - wood on the sides!) and they felt its fur and walked back in the house. No big deal. They loved the meat that winter. When it was gone the following summer Isabella says, "Dad, do you remember that girl deer you killed last winter?"
Fearing the worst, I said,"Yes Isabella. Why?"
Isabella - "Will you kill another one so we can eat it?"

Ya' see what I'm up against?