Thoughts to Fall Back On

Things aren't going good. You've come so far, but Problems are Multiplying. No ready solution presents itself. Frustration Mounts. Brain cascades into the blue screen of death and you slide into the Psychotic State of trying the Same Thing over and over and over with the same Bad Result. Been there done that?

Sometimes you just gotta hit the RESET button. All people have is belly buttons so instead of staring at yours in despair take a step back, get yer head up, bum a Marlboro or a chaw, look around and RESTART from some basic truths to unlock yer conundrum.

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

You only need three tools: WD-40, Duct Tape, and a Hammer. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If the WD-40 doesn't work apply Hammer liberally.

If it sticks out and it shouldn't, bend it. If it still sticks out apply Hammer liberally. If it doesn't stick out enough straighten it.

If it misbehaves, whack it. If it still misbehaves apply Hammer liberally.

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

Be really nice to your family and friends; you never
know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.

Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

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