Alien Abductors Are Pussies

There's a new airplane terrotist threat so, you guessed it, we need to tighten security at airports! Bend over boys, those "black wands" will soon be put to more probitive use and unlike our pals the alien abductors the rent-a-cops won't have to flit about procuring their own probe-ees. They're linin' up like cattle in a chute for the procedure.

Oh, and somebody please tell me why exploding ragheads need to actually board a plane to slaughter civilians when several planeloads worth are lined up for the taking? Are we gonna have an airport security checkpoint checkpoint?
That's it, line up, single file! Be patient, pretend it's a breadline in the old USSR. There now, we'll pretend it's an interesting historical exercise instead of a mind-numbing, dehumanizing exercise in futility.